Since Jeremy lived in Indianapolis and Dale lived in Nashville, TN, it took us some time to meet in person. Other than physical characteristics, we were first drawn together by our appreciation for sarcasm, witty banter, and life experiences.
We started talking about our status from the very beginning. Dale has always been open about their status and listed it as a demographic in their dating profiles so people would know what they were potentially getting into. Jeremy had not had experience dating someone who was positive, but the connection was strong enough to motivate him to become more aware/informed. We successfully navigated this together because we have friends who are also serodivergent who we could look to as a positive example.
Love is more powerful than a diagnosis. When everyone in the relationship stays healthy, informed, and accountable, U=U shifts from being a source of fear to a foundation of trust. Since we have an open relationship, Jeremy decided to pursue PrEP out of an abundance of caution for himself and others.
We live our lives publicly as a sero-different couple in part to normalize it and fight stigma in both our own community and beyond. Other people’s misunderstandings or assumptions are not part of our relationship and anyone who wants to change the narrative to feed their own prejudices or stigmas don’t have a case. In short, those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.
We love each other, period. Intimacy and trust are part of our basic operating paradigm. Our focus is on each other, and we couldn’t give a flying fuck about what “the world” misunderstands or judges. Love comes first; the rest is just details.
