We first met when we were 4 years old, on our pretend “wedding” day, officiated by Jill’s sister and Leonard’s cousin, who happened to be neighbors. Growing up, we lost contact, but we reconnected 38 years later via Facebook when Leonard was embarking on his road to recovery from substance abuse, and Jill was embarking on her road to recovery from inner demons. Both knew we were facing life’s last second chance, and they decided to do it together.
In our first Facebook conversation, we spilled the beans about everything. We decided that being open about everything was our only chance for survival. Leonard was educated on viral loads and suppression and was eager to share what that meant for his health, which motivated Jill to research even further. U=U means “You are still You.” We just moved on. We took the science at its truth and maintained our responsibility to each other by maintaining our medication to maintain our freedom in our relationship. To balance their responsibility, Leonard is faithful in taking his medication and Jill started PrEP the month they got married. Now, Jill provides case management for clients with the Ryan White program, where Leonard has helped with support groups.
How do we nurture intimacy and trust in our relationship? Confidence. Confidence in science, confidence in education, and confidence in ourselves as individuals. Our confidence is louder than the stigmas that surround us.
We want you to know that we are just a couple. We may be different–but it’s not the serodifferent part that does it. Leonard talks in his sleep; Jill leaves candy wrappers in her pockets during laundry. Just another couple that loves each other. Know who you are as an individual.
Know who you love without doubt. Live as such.
