Tell me part of your story of living with HIV?
I was diagnosed with HIV when I was 16 years old. Initially when I received the diagnosis, I think like many others in my situation, I was scared. There was a lot of trauma that initially came along with my diagnosis, but I didn’t really recognize that until more recently. I overcame that by educating myself. I did that by getting into the field of outreach & prevention, working with individuals who also were HIV positive.
I was lucky enough to have access to medical care so I could start treatment right away and maintain treatment for the majority of my life. I learned how to cope with living with HIV – at least the physical aspects, right. The emotional and the mental aspect of it has come into play more recently in my life when I began struggling with addiction as well. It eventually affected my health. Adherence to medication can be difficult when you’re living out on the streets, struggling and trying to navigate a system that you’ve never had to work with before. You just don’t take care of yourself when you’re in that situation. It became scary. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to have that previous experience working in the field to kind of know some basics.
For me, being HIV+ is something that has motivated me and defined some of my characteristics. Because I was diagnosed at such a young age, that willpower to keep going and to face this scary situation made me realize I had two choices, right? I could sit there and I could die, or I could sit there and live. And that’s where I’m at right now – I’m trying to live life.
What would ending the HIV Epidemic mean to you?
It would be a joyful experience not only for myself, but to know that future generations don’t have to worry about it – about some of the difficulties that those living with HIV may face, especially after initially being diagnosed; some of the stigmas that come along with it; some of the life challenges that pop up living with the disease. Knowing that people won’t have to deal with that and hopefully as a whole, this is leading to modernization and medicine that can help other diseases as well. So yeah, that would be life changing!
What does U=U mean to you? How does it affect your life?
That’s huge! It’s freedom. It’s safety. It’s peace of mind. You deal with enough trauma, dealing with living with HIV yourself. There’s that fear that I don’t want to limit my love for someone else. I don’t want HIV to get in the way. Now, with U=U – it makes it more acceptable and comfortable to share that love in many different ways with someone that you truly care about that may not be HIV+. There’s peace of mind knowing that it can’t be transmitted sexually.
If I can take care of myself, I can help take care of my community. If I don’t take care of myself, I’m no good to anyone else.
How long have you been undetectable?
20 years
Anything else I should know about you?
I’m still learning a lot about myself. Part of the journey of sobriety, where I’m at in my life, is I finally have the opportunity to care enough about myself to explore what I like and to invest in myself. I like physical activity, rock climbing, kayaking, dancing, and community. I missed being part of community. I had kind of secluded myself. I was isolating. But today, to be proud of who I am – and to have that self-esteem from doing estimable acts. It makes it much more enjoyable to meet people, knowing that I have something to offer someone else. I feel better about accepting someone’s friendship or being a part of that community because I feel a part of it.
