Tell me part of your story of living with HIV?
In the beginning, I was in denial. I was very much “out of sight, out of mind.” How did I cope with being HIV+? I told myself, “I don’t have HIV. I have a break in my immune system.”
I actually had someone tell me that I should get an abortion. That really shook me up. Fortunately, I was connected with the good people at the Aliveness Project. They taught me how to advocate for myself. They told me I could still hug my babies – I can still kiss my babies. And the best thing they ever taught me is “you are more harmful to me than I could ever be to you!”
Back in the day in Gary, they didn’t put you on medication right away, particularly if you weren’t going to be able to reliably take your medication. I was in and out of NA, trying to stay clean. So they didn’t trust me to take my medication. I was a difficult time for me. I was ostracized by my daddy – he didn’t want me to have the baby. He wanted me to kill the baby. It was horrible. Thankfully, my cousin and my aunt’s grand-daughter helped me out. We voted for Clinton, then moved to St. Louis! I went to the hospital and they sent me to a clinic. I told them the truth about what was going on with me. They put me on medication. And, the medication made sure that the virus didn’t get into the baby, the placenta. And it was cool. I had my baby, and she was healthy and sound. She is my miracle baby.
What would ending the HIV Epidemic mean to you?
Sunshine and rainbows! I promise you! They say at the end of the rainbow, there will be a pot of gold? This would be so much more than a pot of gold!
What does U=U mean to you? How does it affect your life?
I had already told myself, “Deborah, you can’t have no more sex.” In NA, they have this thing about paying restitution – paying it back. So for me, I wasn’t going to wreak havoc on society – I’m not going to pass on this virus to other people. But now, I can have sex – and I won’t hurt you. “You are more detrimental to me than I will ever be to you!”
I love this #CelebrateUU campaign because it’s like people with cancer who ring that bell and shout out how many years they’ve been in remission. We can do the same thing now with becoming undetectable!
How long have you been undetectable?
13 years
Anything else I should know about you?
I’m very excited to learn more about HIV. I’m love doing my part to help people get into care. I’ve received my help from The Aliveness Project, The Damien Center, Women in Motion, BU Wellness Network, and Concord Neighborhood Center. Even though I’m not with one agency or organization, I still serve and promote each organization that I knew of to let people know where help is available to them. At one point, I was a lobby liaison – I took that title and ran with it! I can make a difference in our community.
